She had a good life with me for ten years. Every day around 3pm we got our gear on, her little turquoise collar on the dependable leash, and we set out for our constitutional walks.

She sniffed everything in sight. She filed them into her information files. She had mapped out all of Oakland and Berkeley as well. She was the sniffer of every scent. She knew a lot from the sniffs, she was a genius, she knew the paths.

She smelled raccoons in the backyard, and where they have been. She sniffed the path of squirrels; she tracked people’s foot steps, and reported it to me.

She was a good girl. She was my beloved. I felt her warm body next to my leg every night. She knew my moves, I knew her needs. It all worked out.

Now we have nothing.

I sent her to my dead father who was a huge dog lover. He had to give away his dogs when I was born. Not healthy for babies, mama said. He didn’t have dogs ever since. He died in ‘79.

So, I have sent him this one, my beloved Hungarian Puli Zyna. She was from father’s neighborhood, the old neighborhood, before they moved to the city.

Find my father I said to her. He will be happy to have you. This I am sure of.

She laid on the little blue blanket the hospital lent us, she lay on it breathing real hard. It was the lungs that took her finally, fighting for air. An insidious infection didn’t show on x-rays, fighting for her every breath… its over.

No more force feeding her mashed down sweet potatoes and dog food for puppies. The only desire she had was for a little sweets, and when I ate my Danish, she got interested in a crumb that had sugar on it. She took that and held it in her mouth as the last taste of life.

After the relaxant shot the doc gave her, she stuck her little pink tongue out, let it hang. I kissed her nose.

Thank you dearest friend. Thank you for the ten years of walks, and wagging that tail; and happy noises, and welcomes. Thank you my heart’s puppy.

Where do puppies go after death? Innocent animals, they go to their own heaven I am convinced. The Goddess Diana loves dogs, Zyna can join Diana if she wants to.

Then came the death shot.

Dr. Lin shaved off her little leg and administered the shot that shuts down life, stops the heart.

I felt for her spirit.

Little friend, don’t be scared. You have to leave your sick body behind. Just GO HOME ZYNA! I whispered to her, a call used often while alive.

Go home meant run from my car to the door. There she barked her joyous return to the homestead; she barked until I opened our door.

Then, she liked to tell everybody where she had been, Pulik are big communicators.

All through her quick illness and demise, she fought for life but not really. The moment she refused to eat was actually her time to die. We didn’t accept that as the end. We force fed her food, we force fed her water. She hated it. She was done. The humans were not.

Today, a couple days later, however we all got on the same page.

Good-bye my little friend. Please look for my dad, Sandor. He will take care of you.

Zyna was calm this morning. She did her business, more then we thought possible. She was still the very clean dog, who would not mess in the house no matter how sick. Not even on her deathbed. Now that’s integrity!

I just stroked her, and my wife stroked her, and we piled a lot of love on her last day. This Puppy was well loved by both of us.

After the second shot not much had changed. She was still warm, but she was gone. Her heart had stopped. But she was still warm. She didn’t look grotesque. She looked like a sleeping dog with her eyes open. I couldn’t shut her eyes. But inside her eyes there was nobody in. She went out like an invisible wisp of a thought. Her little pink tongue hanging out, that’s all that betrayed her.

Thank you for the ten great years!

I have jagged cries now. I tried to not bother her with my pain. I don’t think I go back to work today, I am too sad.

I had a tequila sunrise, and am not a drinker, so I got drunk fast. I wrote this requiem very drunk.

This my official wake for a Hungarian Puli.

May you roam free, and never in pain my darling!

May you find old friends and new.

I will always love you.

You were my beloved, and now I gave you sleep.

Be well little one, roam the summer lands,

sniff out the good luck once again.

Farewell my girl!

My only one.

The Aquarian Age … so far (good by 2010)

We are a good halfway into the Age of Aquarius, started in 1962 and will go a hefty 179 years long, when all new things are possible; new inventions will turn our culture around. The question is, do you enjoy your lives more?

What I see is that indeed the Aquarian age has come and made us all pay attention to other humans. Not made up humans, but reality show kind of humans, even better, reality itself with the real humans in it.

We are so interested in what humans do, we don’t care if they are shown to us peeing in the bathroom, passing gas, or take a dump. These images were normally considered off color, but in this intense “reality curiosity”, we do get the bottom line.

Reality TV has pushed out the normal fare of sitcoms. Hollywood settled into a comfortable rerun of the most ancient shows, to avoid making new shows … they run Leave it Beaver and Car 54 where are you? … I Love Lucy; but Lucy is immortal.

The most spectacular money saving show they rerun again is the sugary Lawrence Welk Show. Lawrence Welk shows are on all day somewhere in the world. I mention the Lawrence Welk show because this was the very first TV show I had ever seen back when I was seventeen living in Austria.

My girlfriend and I took two streetcars to get to the friends home with a TV. There we watched with baited breath the polkas and the bouncy skirts on the dancers. I thought, my god, this is America! They seem so happy! It’s all about bubbles and singing sweetly. I want to be part of that.

Today we have revenge shows, all the CSI serials … Dick Wolf is running his shows against himself on parallel stations.

All of them are about the crime solving. They all say to women, don’t worry, they may rape and kill you but when you are dead, we treat you real nice, clean you up, talk to you softly, weigh your heart, your liver, and discuss your mode of death with each other for an hour. Then find somebody we can punish for your death. That’s right … don’t worry women. We get revenge; justice for you.

The problem for me is that revenge doesn’t stop criminals killing innocents. Women still disappear; little girls vanish from playgrounds or from their own homes. There is always another Amber alert.

Murdering women is now normative. Religions didn’t make a dent into this at all. In fact some religions, Whahabists, advise the males to hit the women, to make them obey. If they are tired of this free servant, get a younger one. Males pay each other off with women as if we were objects to trade. Debts are paid this way; promotions are bought with little girls lives.

This is on my mind because  I  have just signed a petition to stop “Corrective rapes” in South Africa, where they rape lesbians to ”show them” a good time; to flip them. After the brutal rape they will now like men? No. It’s just another excuse to violate a woman.

The other problem is that there is no prevention, no thought is wasted on the root of the rapist culture, and why beautiful accomplished women get killed by jealous inferior often mentally ill males because they can. Other males sell women to each other, little girls for sex slavery, because pedophiles somehow have a lot of money. They can pay for it.

So peace on Earth and good will towards women, that would be nice.

Peace on earth, everybody go home and stay there. No more invasions of other countries. No more barrelful of taxes money uncounted, rolled out of secret vaults, men distributing it amongst themselves for war. No more blood money.

No more resenting women who gave life to god.

As Sojourner Truth said, Where does your god come from? Where does your Christ come from? From God and a woman, men had nothing to do with it.

Happy Winter Solstice!

How the major religions have failed to civilize the men.

When it comes to the elections there is a lot of power and money at stake. Our money and our power, and the people’s airwaves are filled with calculated spin doctor’s lies. Isn’t lying against everybody’s religions? But not in the USA. Lying is the Religion. Lying is politics; getting more seats in the congress. Blocking progress the people so need. Pushing our country below that of third world countries in education, health care, and civil rights of women.

Who are the spin doctors?

They are the educated writers with money on their mind. I call them “writer whores.”  Lies for cheating the people with fictitious information. Lies about the candidates. Lies and made up stats. These writing whores are never out of a job. They breed the poison of unqualified people in power. Unfit to run even a self-help gas station. These selected men and women are trained like dogs in a circus to say and yell about issues that make people angry.

America loves being angry. Having something new to fret about, and fear. We are eating fear daily in huge gobbles. Fear and lies are what makes this country sheepish. Not great. We are trained to vote against our own interests. We vote against our own people. Keep them poor, needy and angry, that’s the ticket.

Who are the real spin meisters?

An Australian naturalized citizen, Rupert Murdock. Rupert is so ugly he is rarely seen, but he owns your media; most of the newspapers in the country. And he owns radio stations, featuring the whores like Rush Limbaugh.  He owns FOX NEWS, along with an Arab guy Ali. This network pays their liars well. When they pen the tract of a book, it’s echoed amongst all the properties of Murdock; you hear about it until your ears bleed. Ann Coulter is a good example. Horrible boring writer, yet a best seller? Hardly. And Murdock’s wife’s advice … What do you hate? Write about what you hate.

Usually the common belief is to write about what you know and love, but Rupert and Ali have changed all that. They don’t just want to be billionaires with the tax cuts, they want to rule the country. They want to sit on an invisible throne. They want to eat Democracy for breakfast.

Americans who secretly only respect money go along.  And all the religions with their lofty ideals made no dent into this mess.  When men rule what’s moral, they make whores of everybody.

Ps. I apologize to the real whores, who are in no way part of this darkness.

Imagine a beer company, toying with ideas of how to get ahead in these times with their beer product and coming up with a “Halloween” idea.

–Hey guys why don’t we show on our label a sexy young woman, a witch, burning at the stake, but  as if  she “enjoyed” it? Her mouth open like crying out, or like….

The suits get excited.

–Yeah, it could be fun, a little S/M? Just a hint of it.

–No! No! That won’t be good. The witches will get angry at us.

–So? How many witches drink beer? They don’t buy expensive beer… do they?

–That’s not the point. The witches get angry, they can retaliate. Put out a Hex on us.

–I think it’s just the opposite! If they protest, they will bring attention to our beer nationwide! A kind of publicity we could never buy!

The room falls silent, and the men think real hard about this.

Meantime the offending label is drawn and attached to bottles of beer. The picture of the beer bottle is published, and the men forget about their meeting.

A few months later.

Sage the media person is reporting.

-Well we were right! The women were very offended, the witches were furious! This is huge publicity. We made the NY Times! I promised them a mea culpa, and that we change the label, we didn’t know it was so evil. Sorry.

–You promised them we change the label?

–No! No! We’ll stall them… say we agree, it’s bad. We made a mistake. That would pacify the witches, fortunately they are reasonable people. They would wait if we meant what we said, by that time our beer is distributed everywhere!  There are many beer drinking men who would love to get a buzz and watch a young bosomy girl burned at the stake. And we draw all the faces who are watching her die, watch emotionless like in a movie house.

–Yeah like a snuff movie!

As long as the beer drinking men still buy it.

Another woman in the room now speaks up.

–Hmmm…if I may say something, it would be better that I deal with all the incoming protest.

The men all agree.

–Yes, you should. The witches would believe you more than us.

–I think we should tell them we are setting up a “contest” for the next beer label. Let them all go to their artists and urge them to send us alternative images. This will easily take months. We can always say we never found the winner; it was just not good enough. So we’ll keep the young witch burning at the stake.

–You are right. Let the woman do that.

–There is one problem left.

–Yes?

–Z Budapest is talking about making our beer taste “funny” if we don’t take down the offensive label.

–Who is she?

–She normally just hexes serial killers and rapists. She is successful with those.

–She is going to hex our beer?

–Yes. She and her witches will sour the taste of beer, it will turn into vinegar.  She will make it unlucky for anybody to drink it. She is talking about a serious case of ED, incurable by Viagra.

–Witches can do that?

–She and her witches brought down serial killers?

–Yes. Several times.

A new silence descends on the room. The men are worried a little.  They won’t let it show, but the seed of their fright will grow as the days grow shorter.

The suits get angry.

–How stupid are these women? Can’t they understand that this is our branding? Bet they didn’t read the back label with our story of the struggle between good and evil? Our beer has satire! There is a catholic church in the background! Our owner is a recovering Catholic! How much more can we provide?

One woman who has been silent speaks now.

–Our satire sucks. Nobody laughs at woman being tortured.  Nobody reads the back of labels. Morality words about the struggle of good and evil has nothing to do with beer.

– This is not good.  What can we do about it? How can we stop her?

–By stopping the label. And dump the T shirts. The woman suggests timidly worrying that she is going to lose her job.

– She said the spell is only in place as long as we sell woman hatred with alcohol.

–After all this publicity, the taste of the beer will also be very public. Vinegar!

–I got it! Why don’t we have our own people taste the beer and write about it as “wonderful.”

–And get ED? Are you out of your mind? I wouldn’t do that to our friends!

As I said, let’s stick to beer.

Boycott The Lost Abby

Voting for democrats is like grabbing a lifeline. It may be not a very firm tube, it may be leaking a bit, and it may have come almost to late, but it is here to grab. Do it! Now! Vote!

Yes, Obama didn’t spend too much time explaining what was going on, but look at his long, long list of good deeds! Practical; critical.

Three billionaires have just hijacked democracy. Three old white guys, a pair of billionaire bothers, decided that its not enough to have money. They want to own the Congress. And yes, this is a country in which money can do this with the blessing of the Supreme Court; who are already in their pockets.

We have lots of  man whores for sale. They want to dictate how to be a country to make the billionaires even richer. No taxes for them. Oh no, they don’t like paying their fair share. I pay more taxes than billionaires.

If you are not excited to vote, remembered this. Your foremothers were jailed for this right. They were tortured, force fed for weeks, health ruined just so that you and I have the vote. Female citizens, we are so numerous. Let’s use this power now, lets not loose the Congress.

Nothing will get done for two years after that. The party of “No” will want to impeach our president, drag him down because he is black, and had the gumption to confront the money bags.

How can we be so lazy? We need to vote every time, not just that once.

Women, brothers, let us move to win elections. Put the Dems into the Congress again. May be not the blue dog Dems. Did we have new democrats running to replace them? Oh Goddess, let there be some backbone and brains amongst us, so the next two years will not be like chewing on glass.

Vote!

Blessed Be,
Z Budapest

Driving home. Leaving the misty sunny coast behind. Thinking about the tall redwoods, the air that was fit for angels for breathe. Images of the garlanded women with Laurel crowns, walking about, chatting with each other exchanging emails.

I am happy. Over a hundred women came out to share the spectacular Circles.

First night: Thursday, women were still arriving, settling in, by evening we were ready to  pray and bless WATER.

The altar was created to honor WATER, heal the Gulf, heal all the oceans. SEDNA the goddess of the deep was the main image, hanging over the fireplace. We lit candles to her and her powers to replenish the oceans.

The women stood in the circle passing a candle with the image of the Lady of Guadalupe on it; she is the Queen of all Americas. We placed a blessing on it from the heart. It burned for the success of all wishes on the altar from then on.

In return we captured sea water from the Pacific Ocean, in two jars. You have never seen such clean water, see through like glass. I have dipped flowers into it and sprinkled with the sea all the participants.

This was the purification for the weekend.

All women felt included and sanctified.

Friday

The workshops all started with me, preparing us all to handle well the evening ritual.

Already Thursday afternoon I have taught the basics, divided the women into two major groups, the star sisterhood, and the generational sisterhood. Star sisterhood is the Zodiac sign you belong to, generational sisterhood is the age you are in. These groups then assumed their duties. Star sisters invoked the corners of the Universe according to their star quality, air, fire, water earth.

They opened and closed the circle.

Our drummers Larissa and friend, Ace, displayed their artistry, taking the beat and carrying us along.

First we had sacred play. I have prepared a bowl of magical herbs, good for all positive wishes. We each took a handful and made out of died Juniper leaves and berries (good health), fresh Patchouli (good sex), Verbena (good female health and love) … we made special wishes and we cast the magical herbs into the fire. The fire sparkled happily.

Having danced around the fire and was ready to slow down a little, I had all the women who desired an Initiation into Women’s Mysteries come forward. I then blessed a ball of red yarn, and entwined them with it, myself included. This is for embarking on the PATH. This is just a first step. I never know what comes of it, many times I get activists from this first step, others just take it home with them and practice at home. This year we had 37 new Initiates.

I have started a new tradition within the Dianic Tradition, that of the SUMMONERS. These are our organizers. We need to raise a cadre of organizers so we can have circles in every state. My own Bobbie (and Kate MacDowell who couldn’t be there in person) went first, I took her staff and had all women bless it. They all promised to come when the SUMMONER calls. Summoners are sacred to Themis, the Goddess of Social Consciousness. They are serving Themis. She is the first of all the Goddesses; she summons together humanity.

We elevated CLERGY women, those who keep the sacred spaces for worship. Laura and Duffy, from Simi Valley, Rosmarinus and Ghislaine from Canada, Jesa from Hayward … received their snow white Clergy katas; silk scarf.

We have Ordained two women into QUEENDOMS, as they are the community builders. JoAnna from Carson City, who worked with women in rehab for thirty years and, Sage from Mendocino, who has led Dianic circles there now for four years.

After this the dancing resumed. Star studded skies, roaring sacred flames, and happy women.

I was so tired that night I just fallen into my sleeping bag, dressed as I was. Good dreams followed.

Saturday was easy. This time the women knew what to do, the fire women fed the fires. Miri kept the cauldron going with Frankincense, feeding the good spirits who attended the circle.

We invoked the grandmothers from all directions. We called in our own ancestors by name. We chanted various sweet chants.

A huge feeling of party times rapture our hearts, and the circle became a big dancing hall, drums went wild. I had to keep Jane from jumping the fire, fearing women would attempt it, the fright from last time was still with me when one of us landed on the hot coals. But not worried, this year all went just fine.

When the dancing and drumming calmed down a little, we sat down and watched the procession of the ages, women taking the sacred well for their demonstrations and impressions of what it was like being the age they were in. As usual the thirties were most numerous, but the forties had the most organization, the fifties were very musical this year, and the sixties, well we had a song thanks to Duffy, and I danced an impromptu interpretation of it.

Now I am moving away from the experience; takes a year to produce. Thank you women who came and allowed us to have another righteous witchy event.

My garden has yielded the yellow and green beans, the tiny red tomatoes and the heirloom ones, with stripes and sweet juices.

My Pippin apple tree had many small apples, most of them eaten by the two new squirrels who inherited the trees next door.

The lemon tree is however the queen in my garden. She was the reason why I bought this house; a good old fruiting lemon tree always means good luck. She blooms and fruits at the same time. What genius!

My wife has green talents. She planted an avocado tree who has grown two feet already since it has been put in. She has a tangerine tree in a big pot, already budding little fruits.

We have 13 new rose bushes, in red, yellow and pink. This to keep me from stealing the neighbor’s flowers. Some will climb my back porch and fences; some will make a hedge against the street I live on. Some will grow to supply me with heavenly smelling cut flowers in the house.

Life is good.

My body is mobile. I continued when I could, to go swimming again. I do Yoga every Weds. It’s still reasonably priced at the North Berkeley Senior Center.

We are getting ready for the Goddess Festival starting on the 9^th. It’s a pilgrimage gladly taken. The old covenstead is calling.

May all your harvests be blessed!

Divina et Femina IV

Call for Submissions

May 27-30, 2011, Ottawa, Ontario

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This is the fourth in a series of international conferences dedicated to the exploration of the female divine. Sponsored by the Canadian Centre for the Study of Women and Religion at the University of Ottawa (Canada), it is under the direction of Dr. Lucie Marie-Mai DuFresne. Divina et Femina IV seeks to bring together researchers, artists, and practitioners exploring the themes of the female divine, priestesshood, women’s creation, experience and expression of the divine.

The special focus of this year’s conference is the influence of Z Budapest’s work and thought on the development of contemporary women’s spirituality, feminist witchcraft, goddess worship, thealogy, and gynocentric art.

Submissions may include though are not limited to scholarly presentations, performances, rituals, poetry, visual and other art, and audio and multimedia presentations. Divina et Femina IV seeks to broaden common conceptions of women’s spirituality through the presentation and publication of material that honours multiple ways of knowing. In this spirit, we embrace diversity in both subject matter and methodology. We seek submissions that add to the rich and complex wisdom of women’s spirituality, providing a necessary forum for important discourse in this growing field.

Submissions may address a wide range of submissions related to women’s spirituality, including such such topics as:

• feminista / womanist / feminist interpretations of spiritual traditions, literature and / or art;
• personal experiences within spiritual traditions;
• the impact of women’s spirituality on one’s relationship to self / body / Earth;
• creative expression of one’s spirituality;
• spiritual activism;
• interdisciplinary work with a spiritual or woman-centered emphasis;
• philosophical explorations

Submissions may be made in either French or English.
Deadline for submissions: September 15, 2010
Submissions should be sent to:

Dr. Lucie Marie-Mai DuFresne
Canadian Centre for Research on Women and Religion
Dept. of Classics and Religious Studies
Arts 102
University of Ottawa
70 Laurier Avenue East
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
K1N 6N5

tel 613 562-5714 /613 562-5714
fax 613 562-5991

For more information, contact: Dr. Lucie Marie-Mai DuFresne

http://www.divinaetfemina.ca

Z’s House Oakland , CA
Aug. 21, 2010 1-4pm
Price: $65
(limited to 15 women)
Enjoy tea and sweets at Z’s house!

Location details given after you’re registered.
Fund raiser for the Women’s Spirituality Forum

Go to www.TarotSocial.com to register.

What is a TAROT SOCIAL?

It is a joyful coming-together of the Women’s Tarot community … a Revival of
the 70′s TRAVELING MAGIC SHOW by a FOREMOTHER of GODDESS SPIRITUALITY, The QUEEN
of TAROT READINGS, and the woman responsible for LEGALIZING TAROT in California
… Z BUDAPEST.

What will it be like?

The Women’s Tarot community comes together… experienced and newbies alike.

Practice and deepen your own tarot skills… witness others’ readings in an
intimate setting helping you to hone your own skills rapidly.
Query the Fates together in Circle of Community… learn from The Queen of Tarot
Readings!

You arrive as beautiful Goddesses and all is in readiness for your amazing Tarot
experience ….

Entering into CIRCLE with (or without) YOUR TAROT DECK, you become ONE with YOUR
SISTERS through breathing, humming and chanting …
Together we invoke BINAH, the Goddess of Wisdom – as the tarot is based on the
kabbalah.

Lighting our candle on the altar to the FATES, we sit in circle with our
personal decks before us as … we receive a WONDERFUL and ENLIGHTENING TEACHING
on the TAROT from Z – the tarot’s origination and evolution through the ages to
now.

Dropping deeper, Z takes us to the CAVE of the FATES, where fortunes are created
and measured … The PSYCHIC SELF OPENS …
Now the READINGS BEGIN … feel one with the group, feel the community as ONE BODY
seeking answers together, often sharing the same fate … witnessing each other
… as loving, caring and supportive sisters in Goddess … QUERY The FATES for
each other ….

We, the QUERENTS, ask our questions as Z allows the ANSWERS to COME THROUGH from
the UNSEEN WORLD … YOU, the witnessing souls of The Tarot Circle, have MANY
INSIGHTS from which we can all benefit and learn … Along the way, Z TEACHES More
about each card as it comes up … keeping us sharp and feeling alive.

And we ENJOY and share lovely refreshments together.

Z GIVES A YEAR’s PROPHECY, with SONGS and SPIRAL DANCES to The FATES and more ….

FOR the EXPERIENCED and the INTERESTED BEGINNER alike!

You need have no experience in the Tarot to attend … even if you do not own a
Tarot deck, … be part of the circle, learn and experience! Welcome the Fates!

Blessings Sisters in Goddess!

We are pleased to announce our Goddess Festival Special for the the month of August 2010.

In the month of August only!
We are offering women who register for the Goddess Festival a FREE one year membership into the Susan B. Anthony Coven #1 … the world’s most famous coven!

Membership into the Susan B. Anthony Coven #1 is $50. So you’re getting a savings of $50! Plus, once a member of the SBA, you will find savings on classes worth more than the cost of your membership!

It’s a WIN-WIN!!! You get to come to the Goddess Festival and become a Susan B. Anthony Coven #1 Sister in Goddess … and you help raise funds for the Women’s Spirituality Forum.

The Women’s Spirituality Forum is an IRS 501(c)3 non-profit. Your registration fees and your membership are tax deductible.

* SBA Special pricing ends Sept. 1, 2010