The Horrible - Wonderful Year of ‘07

Here is the time to begin to reflect on the year about to pass. Goddess bless, I had a horrible, wonderful year.

Last year this time I was immobile, my SI joint was inflamed, I was running fever of 101, and none of the docs could diagnose me.

The uncertainty of it all … the humiliation of not being able to walk, the loss of fun and friends, my life was conducted on the phone and online. I had to cancel all obligations. And always, this possibility that they had to open up my hip replacements and redo it; putting me on antibiotic drips for three months, and then replace the hips with new ones. And, I would never walk again normally.

All this because fever in this country can only come from infections. Not so.

I talked to a woman who said she had SI joint inflammations. She ran fevers and it took 2 years to heal. The SI (Sacroiliac) joint doesn’t get blood flow.

This was a time when I could really tell who was my friend and who wasn’t. I had few visitors. My dog had more friends then I.

I watched an extraordinary amount of TV.

The quality of viewing basic cable was abhorrent. I started writing my own TV show. Read many books.

This lasted for 8 months. Only then did my fever started going down. It took even more time to completely be free of it.

But the walking could only happen with crutches. Still I cannot manage stairs.

This part of my life was very disappointing. I thought all was over.

But by May I could travel. Imagine me at the airport. They took way my crutches. I had to go through limping and in pain, the entire airport ordeal.

I went to an esoteric book convention in Denver, where I won a price last year for Celestial Wisdom. This year Summoning the Fates came out via Llewellyn, and I was signing books by the hundreds.

Felt hope return into my heart.

After Denver, I had lots of pain return, spasms of my muscles, searching for meds that worked, only steroids would. One had to be careful with those.

The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries was now on the working table. Weiser Books prepared to release it, and I had some meaningful work out of it, rereading the entire book cover-to-cover. Considering that it was originally written 1975, the book miraculously stood the test of time … still reverent, interesting, lots of information in it still unexplored by the many many women’s groups it has spawned.

Then around Halloween the book was reborn!

The cover art was done by Shakti, a young visionary artist whom I only told to please make an image of Rhiannon, with butterflies flying out of her mouth. She is the goddess of transformations, her words transform, as the butterflies. Shakti got inspired instantly. Took her two hours and she came up with this red haired young goddess, beautiful and fierce at the same time, with butterflies around her coming out of her mouth.

Perfect!

After the Holy Book hit the stores I asked my sisters on my email list to call bookstores for me, and ask them if they carried the new Holy Book. Only about twenty women actually did it … out of the hundreds. Don’t ask me why. I cannot imagine why it’s so hard to give back a little energy to those who have created a space for feminist witches all these years. Really sad, but this is how it is now.

Where are the Feminist Witches?

But some women on the email list caught fire. Especially my moderator Tinn. She started talking about a new festival with the Holy Book as theme. Life seemed almost normal again. As you know I have produced about nine Goddess festivals in California, where there are redwoods and sunken earth temples, and no mosquitoes to bite us when skyclad.
A very sad thing happened then when I went to see Shekhinah Mountianwater, battling her cancer. I found her in the last days of her life. As promised I had given her her last rites, anointed her with rose oil blessed by Amma, see my blog about it.

But as the goddess is both death and love, I found my new true love there in Shekhinah’s living room holding energy for her dying friend.

She and I instantly fell in love.

She too organized Goddess-Faery gatherings and knew about my work. We both came from a different kind of loneliness. I was alone now for a long, long time. She was in a relationship in which she felt very lonely as well.

This love and the rest of the year have taken a sharp turn for the better.

Suddenly we are having a new women’s festival … Gathering the Goddess! It’s is going to be devoted totally to the “Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries.” We have set a date September 5-7 in ‘08. Advertising is already out about it, see my website: www.ZBudapest.com. We have twenty-some early registrations as well.

So this part of the year had much love and wonder. Miracles. As love is always a miracle.

Gathering the Goddess is a blessing. The Holy Book are making their way into women’s hands, a brand new generation.

Goddess, let them learn to be activists!