Granny Rehab Goes Off the Pills

It's now the 8th month after my accident. The inflamed S.I.joint is less angry, Dr J said. I have about a two pain level, between the one and ten. Maybe more like three. But never mind.

After I wrote a very intelligent letter to Doctors 11 and 12, three weeks later I got a response. They got curious at last. They asked Dr 1, to put me through a series of tests, including even Nuclear Medicine.

So yesterday I had to go to the fourth floor at Alta Bates, where they took blood from me again, quite a lot of it. Taking the blood is nothing compared to the uninspired sticking me with needles, unsuccessfully. My arm is blue from these failed needle marks. Finally a very handsome and cheerful guy, and young, took the blood without hurting me much.
The blood then went to San Francisco, where they put it into a centrifugal machine, and selected out only the red blood cells. These cells then got isotope, so it will twinkle under their machines.

Five hour later I returned to the fourth floor, to get the stuff injected back into me, isotopes and all. Nuclear medicine hums with fancy machines. Bodies laying on all narrow little beds. Big smart machines scan, and radiate and image over them like wise men.

Today I had to go back to have my image done. Isotopes were twinkling, but they have done two close ups as well, my hips of course. Tomorrow, I can eat only till nine am. Then show up at noon for a CT test. Dr 1 asked me to stop taking my meds so they can ascertain what my fever is, and how bad do I feel if at all.

I can tell you without pills I feel every little thing, like a princess on the mattress with the pea underneath it. I limp a little and my neck hurts, my right shoulder is smarting, I think there is a pinched nerve.

I am contemplating what to do next.

I am supposed to do no meds for three days. Three days of this surging pain.
Will she do it? Will Granny Rehab rebel against the self inflicted suffering? Then I only asked one question: What’s in it for me? I suffer for three days, and we will know I am still not well, is that pay off enough?

Suffering doesn’t have any redeeming qualities. I just get mean from it. Aging sucks.

Mothers and Daughters: Issues!

Ever since I decided to return to work after five years of health related absence, and create a weekend for Mothers and Daughters on Mother’s Day weekend, the issues are pouring out of everybody.

So how was your childhood?

This all important time in our human development is tossed aside by society, and everything is left to a young mother to deal with. We may have a helper, usually not a man, often our mother. When we become mothers we notice that there is no good will toward mothers being mothers in public. If she needs to nurse her baby, she is called disgusting. Her breast, with a suckling babe is banned as obscene from the cover of baby magazines!

The mammalian breasts, these all important, often artificially enlarged tits, filled with silicone or salt water, yes they are worth lots of money. You cannot sell a doormat today without someone showing off the tits.

Just to gaze at them, masturbate at their sight, touching them costs more, but you regret it, it’s stone hard.

But those same tits, those mammalian breasts, are for the baby, and its food. Well that’s just disgusting isn’t it? Babies are in competition with grown males, who want the mammalian breasts serving them for getting hard. In the mammalian world grown males have most of the power in our patriarchal society, and in that world men and babies are enemies.

(We are not alone in this, Polar bears do this too. The males kill the young ones.)

Men envy the little ones, they have natural access to mammalian pleasures, and they have the right where males no longer dare to suck, tits full of nourishment with mother’s milk.

So as mothers we have to fight for the right to make more humans and pay the full price in time and energy and bear the shame of it as well. Just to raise our infants. To feed the babies. This translates into many disadvantages. Mothers are often alone, no money, cannot go to work, they are then despised as parasites who are “working the system.” Sometimes mothers flip out mentally from stress or post-partum depression, then they are called monsters. But if women got paid for creating new citizens, new customers for all kind of businesses, women would not be poor anymore. How much would a full grown tax paying citizen be worth? Millions.

As daughters I think the main issue that comes up is “Mother didn’t protect me. “ Mother didn’t protect me against my father, brothers, the male world. This lack of female power is the first clue to a girl that she has the wrong sex between her legs. The sexual apartheid is clearly visible to even a four year old, from god the father to the son also a boy, no female to pray to unless you are Catholic. Then you are already in training for Goddess worship, since the Holy Mother is the Great Goddess.

Powerlessness is not attractive to children. Daughters suffer humiliation seeing mother abdicate or get deposed from her position of Giver of All Life. Boys stop identifying with the powerless parent. Where the wisdom treasure lies about our moms is in reflection. One contemplates the mother’s situation and often we discover that she made choices towards survival more than our comfort. She wanted us to grow up, just that took a lot, and gain the power back. But she herself was not in the position to do so.

With the Boomer generation it will be quite the opposite. Boomer women turned this around, and took power as mothers and fought back from victimhood. In fact this is the first generation of women when Motherhood and Daughterhood has improved. When motherhood is chosen and taken on as a profession. Not just a sideline or simply to survival level only.

In the 21st century women take on motherhood independent from males, using the clinically screened sperm but not having to look after a grown man as well in the bargain.

Fathers when they are fathers with their life energy are important and needed. But males who sire offspring are not always the same as real fathers. These guys either move on, and cannot really give up themselves to an other human being, be it a child or a woman. This is the reason 51 percent of American females live without a man and like it. The nuclear family was a big scam, where child abuse was hidden from the world, the pain of mothers and daughters covered up in secrecy.

In this sub Age of Aquarius, transparency is exposing the dirty laundry of the nuclear family, as little prisons, filled with pain. Now on TV and media all the reality shows show us the wrinkles of humanity. The women are turning away from the nuclear family concept. They need mommy networks who help and support one another more than they need another person to take care of. In small ways these networks exist in the Leche movement where mothers share breast milk with each other.

What we need is a great sea change of culture where women/ mothers are treasured every day, get paid for services, and are given the networks to weave the web of life and not feel a

Stand Up Goddess

Hello. Good evening. Thank you for coming out. Before I start talking about this and that let me ask you a most important question. Please don’t try to cover it up just because it’s unusual, or even unbelievable, but just hold up your hand. Who in this room was NOT born of a woman? Not born of a woman… aha… so we are all born of a woman, every one of us? Yes. That’s what I thought.

Then we can discuss being mammals together, can’t we?
Primates are mammals who are all born of a primate mother.
You see it’s not something we own up to, normally. We say nice things to our mother on Mothers Day, and her birthday, but what is that compared to the daily gift of life we enjoy, the breathing in and out. The joy of being healthy, or young. Or both. Even later, we still enjoy our life on the planet, still primates, even being old is good.
Who is this primate mother? This human being? It turns out she is a woman. Not a chick. Not a broad. Not a ho. Not a doormat. Not a thing. Not an object. Not just tits. Hard to recognize her from all the projections. We have to peel back the false identities we have put on her like a yoke, and when we are ALL DONE, what left is a primate, who started out as a girl, blossomed into a woman. Later became an old woman. Still all primate, still all human. Can we live with that?
We have to. There is nothing else.
So then what about the projections? Why did we create all those layers for her, disguising her humanity?
Because humanity by itself is not sexy. Its not a turn on. A chick is interesting, and broad is a put down, and a ho is masturbatory material. Why we need to make everything into mental masturbation? Ask the male mammals.
Because that’s what primates do. Primates, however human, are still just mammals. We need to see those mammalian breasts, and more, to assure ourselves that those tits are still ours, still can be claimed. Life is better when we see the mammalian body parts, it connects us to our sexuality. Yet mothers tits are off limits. This is why we don’t allow mothers to nurse in public. Only cleavage may be displayed for the public, because the tits are ours. Never mind that the newborns actually need the whole breast, not just the cleavage. We don’t allow tits to be shown in baby magazines, as the sweet lips of a newborn nibble on them. Oh no! That’s disgusting! We need to see them as tantalizing, and filled with false milk, enlarged or engorged with silicon. That’s masturbatory material. Primates masturbate on everything they can. If you deny this you have not visited a zoo in a long time.
Our possession of those mammalian females is as deep as the ocean. But how can one primate own another primate? We already have buried her humanity into images of masturbation. So then the next logical step is to prevent her from relating to other primates, especially other males. How do we keep her from exercising her power to choose a different mate?
Answer: we make her dependent on us for everything. Yet everything she does is the stuff of life, we need every breath she takes.
Mammalian primates, humans, women, work the web of life for us all.
Without woman there is no family. Without woman there is no consciousness of Mother Earth- SHE is the biggest mama of them all!

And we love the idea of mama. We want to have females who will treat us like their children, false children, since we are already grown up. Mama cooks and cleans and looks after the web of life, but we noticed that she is also independent, and that won’t do. This pesky independence of the primates, we feel the need to take that away from her, lest she leave US ALONE.
ALL CHILDREN FEAR THIS: MAMA LEAVING, BUT GROWN UPS FEAR IT MORE, SINCE OUR MOTHERS ARE already gone, and so we try to substitute a different mammalian primate woman: the wife/lover. And we begin to fear that she, too, will leave.
So we make it hard on her to do her own thing. If she works “outside” the home, we give her less money, hoping she needs us more. For working in the home, which is what our lives depend on, we pay her nothing. Nothing. It’s a labor of love we claim.
Labor of love is free. After all we own her. How we got to own her is a murky business.
But is sex part of deal?
If she accepts money for sex, needs it or not, she is a “ho.” A ho is downgraded from penniless dependence to morally despised but moneyed dependence. A pimp balances this scale, takes her money away to keep her cleaner, because other then a man’s touch, money makes her filthy too.
We don’t identify with the mammalian male either. If she serves a male, and should it be free, then she is only a slut. Getting money for servicing a mammalian male is a ho. Lower grade from slut.
And we are also somehow ok with projecting on the mammalian male that he makes her worthless by touching her. He is terribly dirty, and his touch is devastating to the human . It makes her used goods. (But it makes him a seasoned lover, hmmm...) And we hold these contradictions for centuries and centuries. We have encoded them in our laws and religion. Oh don’t get me started on religion. But I will talk about that too next.
Take a fifteen minute break…